voltck (@voltck) header
voltck (@voltck) profile picture

rocket ship builder, feeling the endless peach fuzz

Joined April 2011
Photo by voltck (@voltck)Photo by voltck (@voltck)Photo by voltck (@voltck)Photo by voltck (@voltck)Photo by voltck (@voltck)Photo by voltck (@voltck)Photo by voltck (@voltck)Photo by voltck (@voltck)Photo by voltck (@voltck)
. @ChipotleTweets Look at the size of this burrito (mouse for reference). Looks like it came from @tacobell !! This was an online pickup order. I even tipped $2. Hold your employees to a higher standard. By mass I’ve had chipotle burritos 150% larger before. #disappointed
1
1
3
298
My goal in life is to get on the Jumbotron @chicagobulls
1
125
This pimple is starting to look like my nipple
2
95
There’s a shortage of rotisserie chicken in the city of Chicago
2
117
you know men are dumb cuz we have a scent for deodorant called “cool sport”
3
19
I think it’s time to retire my first email address, but [email protected] has such a nice ring to it
1
Can I ask these construction workers to help me open my edibles? Otherwise I’m calling 911
4
Patiently waiting for the first round of rotisserie chickens to be released at Whole Foods, feels like Black Friday except I’m the only one in line
2
This is what I call being a good friend
Tonight I did the wave with a couple of Whole Foods employees and my life is now complete
1
Normal baggage is one thing but imaginary baggage is a whole other crazy
1
I think I’m being shadow banned on Twitter or I’m just not funny anymore
2
The key to a successful golf game is to get silly billy stoney baloney, you’re welcome
1
Today would be a great day for President Biden to cancel student debt.
12,033
4,609
1,566
43,845
I’m too young to be asking “how are the kids?”