@webdevMason

Prove me wrong

 New Hampshire
Joined July 2015
  • Tweets34.4K
  • Following1.1K
  • Followers69.3K
3.3KMedia
The only defense I have for adults who throw big birthdays for themselves is that *a small subset* are actually great ladies who recognize that they're the natural event organizer in the friend group and everybody loves it when they make a weekend itinerary appear like magic
Jane Dashley@JaneDashley4h
Everyones got a take but I think we are ignoring the real villain in this story: adults who want birthday weekends.
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The thing about a birthday is that it kind of applies the perfect amount of participation pressure for weekend plans -- you're not a bad friend if you can't make someone's birthday, but you do feel like you should probably try
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Zoomers are getting unprecedented mileage out of the concept of personal boundaries
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@_sorrengailllOct 25
my roommate wants to start charging my boyfriend rent for visiting me twice a week 😭
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For us we've peaked the moment the pumpkin goes in the car
memetic_sisyphus
@memeticsisyphusOct 25
I’ve modeled the median pumpkin carving experience.
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Even getting the pumpkin from the car to the house is somehow more annoying than the trip from the farm to the car. If we carve it at all it's purely out of obligation to amorphous ideas about childhood memories
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Something slightly funny about my husband and I is that we eloped on Halloween so our anniversary is always... well, it's always Halloween
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We're not huge Halloween people either, it just seemed fun at the time lol Well, at least neither of us forgets it!
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That innate toddler drive to remove everything you're placing into a box faster than you can put it in
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Attaching this to every debate about the merits of academia from now until the sun burns out
Daily Loud
@DailyLoudOct 24
Scientists have identified the specific male dance movements that women find most attractive Researchers from Northumbria University mapped out the exact body mechanics that signal health, vigor, and reproductive quality to female observers.
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I want people to like the weird stuff they like, but I'm continuously reminded that the optimal level of stigma is rarely zero
Bethany S. Mandel
@bethanyshondarkOct 25
I’m at Disneyland and just heard a woman complain, “There’s too many kids around!”
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"a new balance between contemporary lines and the pragmatic simplicity of workwear"
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Surely we've not just run out of clothes that can be made? Right?
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Apropos of nothing, Prada is selling a cloth diaper for adults for $875
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You're not supposed to say this but having kids completed me I was taught -- explicitly -- that if you feel incomplete or chronically unhappy without a partner or children they will not complete you and you will ruin your life pursuing them before healing That was just not true
Allie ✞
@allie__vossOct 23
This makes me so sad In the video a girl is discussing how her mom tells her she regrets having her… and the comments are all full of similar stories
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I'm not saying life with kids is continuous bliss (hahahaha), but absolutely there is a floor for my personal despair that didn't exist before. I can be pretty unhappy, sometimes for a long time, but it basically bottoms out at a way less dysfunctional place than it did before
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I can imagine a mind that is unhappy about having had children but it would have to be pretty different from mine "Gift from God" feels appropriate, the ways I was changed didn't seem realistically plausible until they happened
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I'm a sheet ghost for Halloween this year because the 4-year-old is operating smoothly in her lane and therefore dictates absolutely everything Halloween-oriented in this house during the brief window where she is both very cute and the only child able to talk
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I'm sorry, you told him you're pursuing his execution and then let him go home with an ankle monitor? Apparently between Gilley's bail proceeding and his flight to Italy, Texas voters approved a ballot initiative to make it easier to deny bail. Terribly unfortunate timing
Fox News US
@FoxUSNewsOct 20
A Texas man accused of killing his pregnant wife cut off his ankle monitor, hopped on a bicycle, and boarded a private jet to Italy before his murder trial — and now the Italian government is dictating the terms of his return. Italy granted Lee Gilley's extradition only after U.S. prosecutors agreed to drop the capital murder charge tied to the death of his unborn child. No death penalty. No life without parole. The reduced first-degree murder charge carries 5 to 99 years if convicted. Gilley's defense attorney says an appeal is likely, meaning the man accused of murdering Christa Bauer Gilley could remain overseas even longer. Authorities believe he had help fleeing the country. Full story here foxnews.com/us/american-fled…
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First time growing plants from tissue cultures, wish me luck because I went way overboard on quantity here lol
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I feel like this clip is proof that you can just come up with inexplicable and bizarre human mating practices at random and somehow they're always going to be more humane than modern dating
Lee (Greater)
@shortmagsmleOct 19
I assume the goal of this video is to make Amish culture seem foolish, given this girl’s slight speech impediment and awkward mannerisms, but what exactly is the problem here? There’s no promiscuity or baby killing or digital prostitution; I’m supposed to think that’s bad?
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