Berto

When you pull to the parking spot and it’s a smart car:

When I get home from work and am thinking about work:

My mom seeing another package arrive at my house but it’s for me:

Babe, I wanna take you to the new Italian restaurant that just opened

Me owning property one day:

When they get all upset about bread:

When you think my unpopular memes are almost over but they just keep going:

Any guy seeing me approach him:

When you finally get around to drinking water:

When he’s smart and cute but then mentions he plays golf:

My ancestors knowing my perfect genes won’t be passed on because I’m gay:

When the ghosts I was jerking off suddenly leave:

My cat knowing I’m not in the mood to cuddle:

My cats when the door is closed:

My dentist who still hasn’t met me yet:

My doctor seeing they’re gonna have to prescribe me Vitamin D pills again because of my recent blood work results, I imagine:

There’s a reason Hugh Jackman has been my celebrity crush since I came out. I love this man and his confidence

I am am saddened to hear about Robbie Coltrane, aka Hagrid from Harry Potter. May he also rest well, and perhaps chat some with my aunt. She was a big fan of Hagrid! Robbie was such a warm welcoming part of my childhood via HP and I wish his family well, and send my swell vibes

TFW He texts you right after you two meet for the first time, and you get excited about the text, but then reality hits and you realize it was an automatic text generated after he dropped off the delivery. I have thought my charm snagged me a man on more than one delivery. 🫠🫣