The Nation's Trusted Premium Parody #News source. All tweets unauthorised, unaffiliated, and unhelpful.
Singapore
Joined August 2010
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NDP banner committee, June: Glad to be done with putting up banners of our favourite MPs around all neighbourhoods! We can now rest until end-August!!
NDP banner committee, lately: We hate everyone and we’ve run out of masking tape
China’s latest weapon in its psychological warfare arsenal: hansumness.
Singapore, officially: We’re neutral on US-China.
Singaporeans, watching TikTok CEO Chew Shou Zi in congress: WAH Y DE AMERICANS SO BADS TO LENG ZAI UNKER CHEW, UNKER PLS TAKE ALL MY DATA TO THE CCP!!
PM: “Sex between gay people is no longer a crime, but cringe TikToks together still a right reserved for straight couples.” #NDR2022 #Section377A
PM: “Sex between gay couples is no longer a crime, but society may not be ready for them to share a Spotify Family Plan.” #NDR2022 #Section377A
PM: “Sex between gay couples is no longer a crime, but syncing up their WFH days is still under review.” #NDR2022 #Section377A
Breaking: Elections Department investigating reports of unauthorised campaign poster by a 5-man GRC team ahead of nomination day. The poster has been found in schools islandwide. #GE2020 #SingaporeVotes #Soaper5GRC
Trump in 2017: We’ll make Mexicans pay for the wall
Trump in 2020: See
Mexicans demand crackdown on Americans crossing the border
bbc.in/39imcwP
Public service announcement: Safe distancing rules have kicked in, and they’re enforceable by law. Please report any offenders.
Stomp:
Yes but what about this new Diamond Princess country you made up
DEBUNKED: The image of a tweet from CNA stating schools in Singapore are closed due to the novel coronavirus outbreak is fake cna.asia/2Uw4Ngt
Can you assholes please stop sending Straits Times articles and photos to this service please straitstimes.com/singapore/n…
Read in a Chinese encik voice:
“Area cleaning 0700 hours to 1800 hours! Location Hong Kong! Attire is admin!” straitstimes.com/asia/east-a…
#NDR2019 by @leehsienloong: New NTUC resort to be built at the Greater Southern Waterfront; a new Downtown East. It will be called... Downtown Downtown.
#NDR2019 by @leehsienloong: Singapore will apparently be developing the GSW, which is good, because who knows how they’ll win a championship next year without Kevin Durant.
