porous/freak
Salty Spitoon
Joined September 2026
- Tweets764
- Following190
- Followers470
- Likes4.8K
Pinned Tweet
My buddy asked me to trip sit him while he did shrooms the other day and I spent the entire time making AI pictures of him with a random mexican family and told him the cartel has them hostage in Guadalajara
HowlingSponge retweeted
Whenever I get off work I run full sprint through the parking lot to my car just to go home and drink and jack off alone
HowlingSponge retweeted
Back in it with HR because my boss said it smells like ass in the break room and I said "better than upnigga right?"
HowlingSponge retweeted
The look your friend's newly divorced mom gives you before spitting in her hand and giving you an enthusiastic hj at Thanksgiving just prior to throwing up in the stuffing and saying, "shhh they'll never know".
HowlingSponge retweeted
Been driving the same car for over seven years and for some reason I just reached up to check if I had a sunroof
Was ordering a burrito at a local Mexican place and I asked for extra ice in my horchata and I watched the cashier visibly flinch and started holding his chest
HowlingSponge retweeted
Cyberpunk 2077: All these updates and I still can't make a fat bald man with a micropenis. Turns out life does not imitate art.
HowlingSponge retweeted
If this was 1860 she'd for sure be in the house
This quoted post is unavailable.
Was teaching the bull his multiplication tables and long division after dinner and when he got 3 answers right in a row he got so geeked up he hit my wife with a stone cold stunner in front of our kids
HowlingSponge retweeted
Damn I wish someone would dress ME up as a woman and light MY ass up
Manuel Otto, the creator of a game called Stickrun dressed up as a woman, turned on Twitch livestream and set himself on fire today and is likely deceased. There is obviously video of this. I do not recommend seeking it out and I will not post stills. If you have more information on this story, please let me know.
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
xitter.cf/StickRunGame/status/21…
HowlingSponge retweeted
My therapist asked me to draw my ideal partner. I sketched with the brushwork of a Renaissance muralist: no wants, no opinions, no face that could hold eye contact. She suggested a houseplant. I had tried one. It died of neglect, which segued nicely into my next point about women
HowlingSponge retweeted
Sauntering into the bedroom after taking the One Chip Challenge, my woman sees the tears streaming down my cheeks. I tell her they're happy tears because I love her so much before putting her pussy through the nine circles of Hell.
Inviting a broad with a bad nicotine addiction over and hiding her vape from her so she can smell the zyn salts I rubbed on my shaft and it pings her central nervous system to get active
HowlingSponge retweeted
My wife and I have a shared calendar where we schedule our sex. I just walked in on her fucking our black neighbor. I said “oh sorry, is this room double-booked?”
Took a gamble on Hinge and set it to black broads only in an attempt to look for a Trinidadian housewife and struck out every single time cause they said I lacked izzat and looked like Murr from Impractical Jokers
