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Writer, spec ed teacher, cancer survivor, and other stuff. Words: @mcsweeneys @globeandmail @pointsincase @weeklyhumorist @slackjawhumor @cracked and others

Kitchener-Waterloo
Joined January 2016
Photo by Jason Garramone (@JasonGarramone)Photo by Jason Garramone (@JasonGarramone)Photo by Jason Garramone (@JasonGarramone)Photo by Jason Garramone (@JasonGarramone)Photo by Jason Garramone (@JasonGarramone)Photo by Jason Garramone (@JasonGarramone)Photo by Jason Garramone (@JasonGarramone)Photo by Jason Garramone (@JasonGarramone)Photo by Jason Garramone (@JasonGarramone)Photo by Jason Garramone (@JasonGarramone)
Jason Garramone retweeted
Anyone else get the sense sometimes that they're on Fart 'Splosion
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Until now, this was the only way to get juice from an orange.
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Jason Garramone retweeted
Tuesdays are the worst so here is the funniest video of all time
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Jason Garramone retweeted
Officially a bestseller. Love you all 🙂‍↕️
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One of the best edits I’ve ever seen.
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Jason Garramone retweeted
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Fox News tried to do a bunch of scary man-on-the-street interviews about crime. It didn't go well.
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Jason Garramone retweeted
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🏕️Cult Camp & Dog Days + more in this week’s 300th issue 👉us10.campaign-archive.com/?e… feat #humor & #cartoons by @thomaswykesss @PKuperArt @KitLively @paul_lander @JasonGarramone @andy_schocket and more! Follow & subscribe!
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Jason Garramone retweeted
In 2004 Steven Seagal released a dancehall song called “Strut” in which he sings in a fake Jamaican accent and his first line is “me wan da poonani.” can’t make this shit up.
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LOUIS CK weighs in on the @sagaftra strike
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A Conversation Between My Teeth And Tongue After I Accidentally Bite Myself ~ by Jason Garramone @JasonGarramone Teeth: And I can’t believe how stupid you are. I mean, it’s not like you have any weeklyhumorist.com/a-convers… #bite
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E.T. Receives A 39 Year Overdue Phone Bill For Interplanetary Roaming Charges ~ by Jason Garramone @JasonGarramone Since your account balance has been in arrears for over 39 Earth rotations around weeklyhumorist.com/e-t-recei… #att #bills
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A Conversation Between My Teeth And Tongue After I Accidentally Bite Myself ~ by Jason Garramone @JasonGarramone Teeth: And I can’t believe how stupid you are. I mean, it’s not like you have any weeklyhumorist.com/a-convers… #bite
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Jason Garramone retweeted
'I’m a Slow Reader,' Says Woman Who Is on Her Phone for 10 Minutes After Every Paragraph: ow.ly/1yev50OKr9v
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Jason Garramone retweeted
‘I Could Never Pick Up Dog Poop,' Says Woman Whose Entire Apartment Smells Like Cat Piss: ow.ly/3AKp50OEzSW
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An Open Letter To Whoever Is Abandoning Their Used Underwear On The Shower Towel Hook At The Gym ~ by Jason Garramone @JasonGarramone Towel hooks should only be used for towels, not underwear. Think weeklyhumorist.com/an-open-l… #gym #funny
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Non-Sexist Things That Bros Come Before ~ by Jason Garramone @JasonGarramone Cloves: Don’t even think about prioritizing these dried aromatic buds over your real buds. It doesn’t matter if weeklyhumorist.com/non-sexis… #bros #hoes
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