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Not Twips (@NotTwips) profile picture

Not Twips

@NotTwips

Tired of NOT getting RTd by @twoptwips coz you dont slag off facebook? Fear not. I'll search for strays & NotTwip here.Tweet me ONLY when missed by the MAIN man

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Joined September 2011
  • Tweets7.9K
  • Following164
  • Followers1.2K
355Media
Photo by Not Twips (@NotTwips)Photo by Not Twips (@NotTwips)Photo by Not Twips (@NotTwips)Photo by Not Twips (@NotTwips)Photo by Not Twips (@NotTwips)Photo by Not Twips (@NotTwips)Photo by Not Twips (@NotTwips)Photo by Not Twips (@NotTwips)Photo by Not Twips (@NotTwips)Photo by Not Twips (@NotTwips)
HI @grok. How do you perform age verification on X so porn works again? Asking for a friend. @TwopTwips
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REALISE you’ve wasted your life by asking Grok who the most famous to visit your profile is, only discover it’s a bloke called Tim who deleted his account two years ago. @TwopTwips
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Gino D'Acampo: make these allegations go away by getting character witness statements from the people you used to work with. Like Philip Schofield. @TwopTwips
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RIP Paul Danan Obviously, the most heart warming tribute came from Pu55yman Dan
Image from Stewart Who? (@DJstewartwho)
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JONATHON GULLIS following your loss of seat, get lucrative work simply by donating millions to a Conservative government. @TwopTwips
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HOOK up with sexy bacon fat by starting an account on Rindr. VIA @timcore74
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PRETEND you’re an archaeologist, inspecting their fossil collection, simply by stooping to look at a Dunkin’ Donut display in a motorway service station. @TwopTwips
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PRETEND you're French by wearing escargot shorts. VIA @timcore74
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REFORM PARTY. Sort out this mess by claiming that if you win, Putin will put a deal on the table the very next day. @TwopTwips
Nigel Farage (@Nigel_Farage) profile pictureNigel Farage
@Nigel_Farage23 Jun 2024
The Daily Mail is collaborating with the Kremlin to protect the dying Conservative Party.
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Luciano Spalletti’s jacket has a certain @AccidentalP energy… #itaalb
Image from Matt Ross (@MattLeRoss)
Image from Matt Ross (@MattLeRoss)
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Liz Truss meets her Publisher! (featuring @nerineskinner)
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Easter eggs soon, chaps!
no context memes (@nocontextmemes) profile pictureno context memes
@nocontextmemes29 Mar 2024
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Not Twips retweeted
Rob B (@RobBfromDerby) profile picture
Rob B@RobBfromDerby5 Mar 2024
β€œOnce, whilst in Government, I suggested that a cutting a few quid in Nat Insurance would compensate for 14 years of wage freezes and austerity”
Image from Rob B (@RobBfromDerby)
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My grandpa who is 85 started making this rock map of Scotland in 1992.He collected rocks during amateur geology trips over 30 years. He says it had to be geologically correct and also aesthetically pleasing.He asked if I could share online as He wants to go viral so please share
Image from Harry Jefferies (@Jefferies_)
Image from Harry Jefferies (@Jefferies_)
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CONVINCE people you’re Joey Barton by being so batshit crazy that not even Matt le Tissier will touch you on Twitter. @TwopTwips
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JOEY BARTON, before having a go at women broadcasters, take a moment to listen to Michael Owen commentate. @TwopTwips
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SUELLA BRAVERMAN perhaps the government should stop unemployment benefits for former Home Secretaries, as that appears to be a lifestyle choice… @TwopTwips
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Not Twips retweeted
Matt Ross (@MattLeRoss) profile picture
Matt Ross@MattLeRoss9 May 2023
Why would @ITVSport put their microphones right by the drunk section? My surround sound is at least more insightful than Michael Owen though, I guess… #ChampionsLeague #RMAMCI
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I just created a coffee stain in the kitchen and I’m fairly sure it’s predicting the end of the world where a master race of chickenmen rise and take over…
Image from Matt Ross (@MattLeRoss)
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HOLIDAY MAKERS Avoid post-Brexit queues at Dover, simply by avoiding travelling to France when it is convenient for you to do so. @TwopTwips
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