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non-practicing intellectual

the middle distance
Joined January 2013
Photo by childish branzino (@absflora)Photo by childish branzino (@absflora)Photo by childish branzino (@absflora)Photo by childish branzino (@absflora)Photo by childish branzino (@absflora)Photo by childish branzino (@absflora)Photo by childish branzino (@absflora)Photo by childish branzino (@absflora)Photo by childish branzino (@absflora)Photo by childish branzino (@absflora)
childish branzino retweeted
my beautiful daughter Dont Photograph Strangers In Public and my beautiful daughter Phone Off In Theatre
We should go back to the Puritan naming convention of naming kids after values, but updated. Instead of being named Obedience you can be named Punctuality.
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childish branzino retweeted
I need you guys to understand though. what it was like to watch this movie with a 101° fever and to see these dogs. I literally had to pause and take a second compose myself. I thought I was losing my mind.
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childish branzino retweeted
The Trader Joe's cashiers are using their secret bell language to talk shit about me again
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childish branzino retweeted
what is rizz if not swag persevering
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childish branzino retweeted
Release your inner bitches or whatever Natasha Bedingfield be saying
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Think Trump’s tariffs won’t affect you? Expect price hikes on: •Iced tea imported from England •Lifeguards imported from Spain •Towels imported from Turkey •And turkey imported from Maine
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childish branzino retweeted
This was a joke, but why would this resonate with me? I do not work late. I go to sleep… Sabrina is a wonderful young vocalist doing her thing. I wish her nothing but success and longevity, Pop Crave. 🤨
Dionne Warwick when asked by NPR if Sabrina Carpenter’s “I’m working late ‘cause I’m a singer” lyric resonates with her: “That does not resonate with me”
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childish branzino retweeted
hey does anyone know what my personality is and if i am succeeding at being a person? thanks 💜
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Liesl when she found out Rolf was a N*zi:
you’ve destroyed the sanctity of this gazebo you belligerent fool
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Tell me your most radical position that cannot be placed on the left-right political spectrum
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childish branzino retweeted
One thing about me is that I am absolutely going to load a dishwasher incorrectly
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I never thought about it like this before and I love it. if an anthropologist were studying our culture, they would note that our adolescent girls have a rich tradition of folk art that includes weaving, beading, and collaborative storytelling (fanfic)
friendship bracelet making is so cool man. genuinely so awesome that we have this miniature weaving tradition that is passed down as oral tradition among teenage girls!! i love craft!!!!
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childish branzino retweeted
president snow after the tribute’s interviews:
Replying to @lilyallen
Also thank you to @peta for adding fuel to the fire. Very responsible of you.
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never stops being funny
name a time the celebrity gagged the interviewer
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childish branzino retweeted
For sale, baby!!!!! Shoes!!! Never worn :)
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childish branzino retweeted
nobody will remember: - your salary - how “busy you were” - how many hours you worked people will remember: - how quickly you solved the Mini Crossword - your daily Crossword streak - that time you solved Wordle in two guesses
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childish branzino retweeted
me when my google maps ETA goes up 2 minutes: ah well. so much in this life is beyond my control 🤷‍♂️😌 ne when my google maps ETA goes down 2 minutes: no doubt due to my unprecedented skill behind the wheel
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childish branzino retweeted
How your email finds me:
Florence Pugh and Andrew Garfield in John Crowley’s ‘WE LIVE IN TIME’. 📷
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childish branzino retweeted
waiting out the geography and sports categories at trivia night before locking in for arts and entertainment
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“And who is your primary care doctor” three different urgent cares in a trench coat, babe
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