Col (@countcol) header
Col (@countcol) profile picture

Col

@countcol

Ex cop. Post humour, art and good stuff. My tweets may not be totally original, I follow all views without endorsement. LCFC.

 East Midlands, England
Joined June 2012
  • Tweets11K
  • Following17.2K
  • Followers21K
2.6KMedia
Photo by Col (@countcol)Photo by Col (@countcol)Photo by Col (@countcol)Photo by Col (@countcol)Photo by Col (@countcol)Photo by Col (@countcol)Photo by Col (@countcol)Photo by Col (@countcol)Photo by Col (@countcol)Photo by Col (@countcol)
My smoke detector protects me from fire, carbon monoxide and toast.
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Replying to @countcol
. At least it was in tune.
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ASDA offering free diabetes tests directly above a mountain of chocolate. Whoever arranged that display deserves a promotion in the irony department.
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“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” C.S. Lewis
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Did you know a human fart can be louder than a Trombone? He discovered that today at his Daughter's School Concert.
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Me: A glass of your finest Less please. Bartender: Never heard of it, is it foreign? Me: I dunno, but my doctor said to drink it.
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Everything I do is for a reason - I make up afterwards.
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Replying to @countcol
Play it backwards and you get all your stuff back 😎 #toptip #CountryMusic
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Living with a cat.. 😅
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. No man on this pan? This dunny is just for fanny?
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“I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.” Unknown
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Backstreet, Jarrow, 1937, photo by Bill Brandt.
Image from Brian Groom (@GroomB)
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I always eat the broken up biscuits first because I feel sorry for them.
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I saw a sign the other day outside a women's toilet that said, 'No Balls in Women's Stalls'.
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With these self driving vehicles, it's only a matter of time before there's a country song about how even your truck left you.
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Replying to @countcol
. That's why Lisa is Moning. Stuck to the wallk all day.
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Replying to @countcol
. Did I hear voices? No. No one there
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“Never follow anyone else’s path. Unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path.” Ellen DeGeneres
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If my mum was still alive I'd ask her if that 'slap me into next year' is still available.
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At the museum I asked if I could take any pictures. They said "No they all stay on the walls."
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I avoid Real Life people like the plague..... Which is pretty much what THEY do when they see me coming.
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