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Joined January 2019
Photo by Leo (@luvisleo)Photo by Leo (@luvisleo)Photo by Leo (@luvisleo)Photo by Leo (@luvisleo)Photo by Leo (@luvisleo)Photo by Leo (@luvisleo)Photo by Leo (@luvisleo)Photo by Leo (@luvisleo)Photo by Leo (@luvisleo)
He wore his happiness like a mask. And the girl had run off across the lawn with the mask. And there was no way of going to knock on her door and ask for it back
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Quite the riveting tale…
My car wouldn't start in a Tractor Supply parking lot in Tennessee, so I opened the hood. I know nothing about engines. In American movies, opening the hood is how a man calls for help. It works outside the movies too. The first one arrived in under two minutes with a fifty-pound bag of chicken feed on his shoulder. No hello. He set the feed on my bumper, put his hands on his hips, and looked into my engine. Then a man from a truck hauling fence posts. Hands on hips. Then an older man came out of the store holding a receipt. He had not finished paying. Through the window I could see the cashier still holding his card. I think he heard the hood. Nobody touched anything. Nobody asked my name. Three strangers stood around my engine like it was a campfire. "Battery," said Chicken Feed. "Could be the starter," said Fence Posts. "It's not the starter," said Receipt. Fence Posts made a clicking noise with his mouth to show what a bad starter sounds like. Receipt said that was the wrong click and did his own, and for a while two grown men in Tennessee just clicked at each other. I did not interrupt. It felt religious. It was the battery. The terminals were crusted white. Chicken Feed walked to his truck, came back with a can of Coca-Cola, cracked it, and poured it on my battery. "Has to be Coke." "Pepsi works," said Fence Posts. "Pepsi does not work, Ronnie." "It's the same acid!" "Then why'd God make Coke?" I looked it up that night. Men have been having this exact argument online since at least 2004. The sun was going down. Receipt said, "Somebody hold a light," and a flashlight was in my hand. I pointed it at the battery. "Not there. Where I'm looking." I moved it. "Where I'm looking NOW." For ten minutes I chased an old man's eyes around an engine with a beam of light. I have trained with a sword for twenty years. Nothing has ever asked more of my wrists. Then, without looking up, Receipt said, "Don't watch my hands, son. Watch my face. Took my daddy eleven years of yelling to teach me that." So I watched his face. I saw where he was going to look before he looked, and the light was already waiting there. He stopped correcting me. The car started on the first try. Nobody cheered. Chicken Feed took his feed back off my bumper, Fence Posts said "There ya go," and in under a minute they were gone, the way they came. I was closing my hood when a truck two rows over wouldn't turn over. Up went its hood. A father, and a boy of maybe nine. I walked over with the flashlight. I did not ask. I put the light where the father's eyes were about to go. He glanced at me. Then at his son. "Watch how he holds it."
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Leo retweeted
She mistook me for a green bean
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*gives you the hot shoulder*
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Me on trial for BBW Facesitting
The UK is actually so fucking boring what do you mean you can’t enjoy some face sitting after a succulent chinese meal?
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*Jigsaw pedaling into the bathroom* sawing hard or hardly sawing?
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Dropped the wave runner now we run the wave
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does bill gates give good steve jobs
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kirkin hard or charlie kirkin
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They should fly all six flags at half mast
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Tore my tongues ACL eating her ass
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You say no to uncle pussy, juicy j can’t
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What she’ll see when I scoot past her
I'm going meat for meat
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Leo retweeted
don't worry babe, i'll do all the parallel parking for us
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She’s on here… you just gotta keep looking…
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my wife is so hot i would attack people with Rocks for her
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Lifestyle-Rich Gang/Young Thug
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Hurricane polo is just me getting dressed in the morning 🏇
HURRICANE POLO HAS REACHED CATEGORY 5 STRENGTH FOR THE THIRD TIME! Polo has once again exploded into a 180 mph Category 5 hurricane, marking the third separate time the storm has reached Category 5 intensity. This is an extraordinary milestone: Polo is the first hurricane on record to reach Category 5 strength three separate times with all three peaks occurring in the Eastern Pacific. And at 180 mph, Polo has once again reached the third-highest wind speed ever recorded in the Eastern Pacific. Polo is certainly one for the history books.
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The only safe thing left to eat is her
The FDA has announced a recall of cinnamon due to possible contamination with lead.
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