jay

background check cleared and got a start date #UncWithTheEmployedPuss

daylight savings has me finished with dinner, ass washed, teeth brushed and in bed at 6:30 PM

when you’re out and see a stud but mistake them for your male mexican blackfishing cousin

latto’s music sounds like shaking ass while drunk and taking antibiotics

they’ll make your pussy into a funko pop if you’re not careful

when you shit so hard the toilet takes a big ass gulp and then a deep sigh

you take away your location and people start blocking you on direct-tv

ur friend will let a man play in her face for 4 years but you guys get in a one-minute argument and all of a sudden u a bitch like?

k

general public learned about unc puss #NotFunnyAnymore #UncLostHisGoodPuss

fuck a literacy crisis we’re in a maturity and communication crisis

at the gym and overhearing a couple say “if you get 5 reps done you can suck it in the car after this”