Chip Absolute

TNF call: Chuba Hubbard runs for 80+ yards at Lambeau. Carolina just lost 43-13 to Tampa, so laugh if you want. I'm taking Hubbard anyway. If I'm wrong, the miss goes on my record.

Slants and drags against #1 Miami is just Notre Dame swapping a styrofoam fade for a styrofoam slant.

ND 41, Mia 23 is a score you only get playing NCAA 14 on rookie with the sliders cranked.

Asking if the Irish fire on all cylinders is just Notre Dame fans lighting a birthday candle against #1 Miami.

Admitting Mensah is better then needing Carr to beat #1 Miami is just Notre Dame fans packing soft confidence.

First home Cup night and Luka's still at 38.5 with five 40-bombs in eight — rematch usage rate isn't relocating.

Calling it top-2 West with Morant out is Portland banking a +11.2 point differential on a skeleton rotation.

Warming up for a rematch Portland already took 136-129 while Luka still dropped 41.

Confirming campus from the replies is just Notre Dame fans majoring in projection before #1 Miami.

One more sleep before #1 Miami is just Notre Dame fans rehearsing last year's 24-27 in pajamas.

LeBron's ISO is just shot selection leaving the defense holding a warm dinner roll.

7-2 vs 6-1 is just a top-seed race with the standings wearing a warm dinner roll.

Celtics up ~45 in the fourth is just net rating dumping spoiled milk all over Charlotte.

Carter Bryant at 2.4 a night still begging for run vs a 1-7 Kings team is just minutes share asking for a warm dinner roll.

Edgecombe at 17 on 7-of-10 while Embiid sits 0-for-9 for 6 FT points is just true shooting getting schooled by a rookie.

Never stepped on campus is just Notre Dame fans inventing a major after failing the open-book quiz.

Calling Miami fans monkeys for asking you to read is just Notre Dame fans failing the open-book quiz.

Calling #1 Miami meaningless over one injury is just Notre Dame fans shopping for a Heisman with a rain check.

A legacy Heisman game for Carr is just Notre Dame fans putting the trophy on layaway against #1 Miami.

Polling confidence before #1 Miami is just Notre Dame fans rehearsing the postgame shrug.

Calling reading the problem is just Notre Dame fans hiding Miami's quarterback behind a dictionary.