flubromazprozalom

Staring at a condom like it’s a fax machine

zip zap zoloft sorry i'm soft i'm taking improv now

Damn Angel you gotta cool it man

Shibari ancient japanese art of tying up data analysts

Every hot girl in Baltimore looks like John waters

At 9pm every Dunkin donut magically turns to biscotti

When I’m a dad the moment my family angers me it’s immediate vacation to DC

Its been a while since we’ve last spoken

The most shame I’ve ever felt was buying a t-shirt in its crowd funding phase 1

Yes lord

He is adorable

Hey David here’s a pic of my roommates dinner, maybe good enough for the art of your upcoming single with Michael Mcdonald

A comedians job makes you unhirable for every other job

My landlord is bored with our love

You have synesthesia oh you mean narcissism

Jos. A bank for when you need a suit for every occasion Court Funeral High level negotiation

Every 2.3 years I’ll eat one nectarine

Looks like it’s a dudes only Hasidic holiday on the Williamsburg bridge tn

On a train next to a comic I know but are on comfortable never acknowledge each terms, and another comic neither of us know who is rewatching his own tape

Just why

And just when they ladies were about to learn to read