ALT Blurb on the back of a book states “how to control problem behaviours such as flapping, tantrums and obsessions”

ALT If you have a child in a playground flapping his arms then other children will stare and be frightened, or puzzled, or amused, and in the same way, when you have a young man buying drinks at a bar and flapping his arms, they are quite likely to think he has had enough to drink already and refuse to serve him. None of these responses are what you want for your child when you are trying to integrate them into the world, so we wanted to modify the flapping to something a bit less conspicuous. We developed a routine where I would just put my hand up, which was the stop signal, say 'Stop' gently but firmly in a low voice and then say "Tap” and he would copy me and move his hands down to tap his leg instead, and then gradually we changed it to tapping his side. I wasn't taking his flapping away from him altogether but replacing it with another habit that was easier to cope with. He still taps on his side now, when he feels the need to, but it is not as obvious as somebody flapping their arms

ALT “I’m glad my mum stopped me flapping because I would look like an abnormal kid and my mates would not like it” The reason that you might want to modify extreme habits is just so that your ASD child won't look so different in a society that is not very tolerant of difference. There is no reason that they should have to fit in with our society, but they will probably have a better time if they don't stand out from the crowd too much. This sort of modification will give them the best chance to fit in. It can take a very long time to establish. It took us 12 to 18 months to work on Matt's flapping to the point where it was hardly happening at all. You can't get someone with an ASD to stop doing things like that completely, because these habits are part of the way they meet the world, and also a relief for them.

ALT Front cover of book called How to Help your Autistic Spectrum Child by Jackie Brearly and Beverly Davies. Quotes “full of sensible advise, sensitively written” - Jane Asher, president National Autistic Society. Photo of a woman with long hair and a young boy, both smiling.