Skurt Vonnegut · Oct 28, 2026 · 12:39 PM UTC

Skurt Vonnegut

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Lisa 🖤☠️ retweeted

Skurt Vonnegut@ThisLocalHater17h

The good news is that after all these years I still know the rap part to TLC's Waterfalls

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🌊Zero Dark Twenty-Nine 🌊🖋️ · Oct 28, 2026 · 5:00 AM UTC

Lisa 🖤☠️ retweeted

🌊Zero Dark Twenty-Nine 🌊🖋️

@herotimeszeroOct 28

Things that don't help Americans: -Renaming bodies of water. -Renaming AI. -Building a ballroom. -Obsessing over ass. -200 posts per night. -Pete Hegseth. -$7/gallon. -Servicing Putin. -Tarrifs. -Trump's face on passports. -Trump's face in general. -War with Iran.

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Mark · Oct 28, 2026 · 10:29 PM UTC

Lisa 🖤☠️ retweeted

Mark@AgingRanchHand7h

Part of Jason's issue is that he's wearing masks that make it hard to drink soda. Just have a few sodas and relax, dude

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D · Oct 28, 2026 · 5:33 PM UTC

Lisa 🖤☠️ retweeted

D@more_dreM12h

Just rolled a joint. It was my ankle.

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Dammit Sally · Oct 28, 2026 · 5:21 AM UTC

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Dammit Sally@CrossBiddyOct 28

I just overheard 2 tiny girls in Aldi talking about how much they love broccoli because it looks like fairy trees. 🥹

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CoCo · Oct 27, 2026 · 11:00 PM UTC

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CoCo@unhingebingeOct 27

The scariest part of halloween is the rising price.

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メ · Oct 28, 2026 · 8:17 PM UTC

Lisa 🖤☠️ retweeted

メ

@BjaySwag9h

you can make a smoothie with 25+ fruits and the only one you’re gonna taste is that damn banana

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The Real Rodney Lacroix · Oct 28, 2026 · 6:22 PM UTC

Lisa 🖤☠️ retweeted

The Real Rodney Lacroix

@RealRodLacroix11h

There is a 100% chance that one of these bags of Halloween candy isn’t gonna make it to Halloween.

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Craving · Oct 28, 2026 · 6:30 PM UTC

Lisa 🖤☠️ retweeted

Craving

@calluptome11h

We call it twitter, you call it X, my shrink calls it disassociating, whatever.

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💯ℂ𝕣𝕒𝕫𝕪𝔸𝔽👑🍄𝔹𝕦𝕥ℂ𝕦𝕥𝕖💯 · Oct 28, 2026 · 7:35 PM UTC

Lisa 🖤☠️ retweeted

💯ℂ𝕣𝕒𝕫𝕪𝔸𝔽👑🍄𝔹𝕦𝕥ℂ𝕦𝕥𝕖💯@Crazy_ButCute210h

All of these food recalls make me glad I always forget to grocery shop

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ɌØɃɆɌŦ ȺNŦĦØNɎ · Oct 28, 2026 · 4:19 PM UTC

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ɌØɃɆɌŦ ȺNŦĦØNɎ@robanthony9013h

Horror films are meant to be dark, taboo, and unsettling, they're meant to terrify you, to trigger a visceral reaction! If you can’t handle certain subject matter in horror films, then you shouldn’t watch horror films at all. Stop acting performative and miserable for validation!

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Destry · Oct 28, 2026 · 1:21 AM UTC

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Destry@DestryBrodOct 28

You'd think at some point the conservative women who still support trump must realize all of the women accusing him of sexual crimes can't all be lying.

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